My wife and I have a policy when we go wine tasting:

“Never taste anywhere you can get a massage.”

This mantra has served us well in all the years we have been wine tasting. While it works well in a literal sense, how we really mean it is that we prefer to taste in environments that are wine forward and personal. We prefer tasting in someone’s garage than their climate controlled fortress of wine solitude.

This is why we love Paso Robles. It hits the perfect balance between humble and quality. It’s still affordable and retains these amazing pockets of personal experience that reminds you of how this industry used to run.

This is also why I am going to tell you in three parts where to stay, where to eat and where to drink in Paso Robles. I feel Megan and I are uniquely qualified to help you all in this journey as we have experience in these areas, in fact we have built our careers around them. I worked my way through college in restaurants, from dishwasher, to cook, to server and I currently work in logistics management focusing on the hotel industry. Megan is a manager working in wine distribution and sales. We hope our knowledge in these areas will help guide you to a good trip through beautiful rolling hills in the heart of central California.

Hotels:

Trust me. I understand that sometimes you are planning a trip where you want to ball out of control and experience the finer things in life. However, it’s just not always realistic for most people, and for others it may never be.

I understand.

I’m going to give you three different looks at how you can put a roof over your head Paso. You just have to choose your own adventure (God I loved those books growing up).

Adventure #1: Baller on a budget – Melody Ranch

The good kind of vintage

Are you the type that would rather spend your hard earned cash on the wine rather than a 6 inch thick down comforter and a pillow top mattress? Check out Melody Ranch.

You have to trust me on this. I would not recommend you a motel if I hadn’t used it multiple times myself and been extremely pleased with both the cleanliness and the affordable rate.

Imagine your grandma’s house, but in a good way. This place looks like it stepped out of Tarantino’s “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”. It has that bathroom tile all our grandma’s houses did. But the great thing about Melody Ranch is that it is in on the joke. It is kitsch, it is dated, it’s vintage and it is a totally humble, unpretentious, place to stay in downtown Paso that is only a two block walk to the city center.

You get away with paying only $85 mid week for a room here, while weekends jumping up to about $125.

Adventure #2: Yeah… I’m gonna need room service – Paso Robles Inn

The old lady of Paso Robles and probably the best mix of classic hotel amenities combined with a bit of luxury and history. For years this hotel was famous for in room hot tubs heated by the natural hot springs the hotel was built upon. They have since stopped the use of these to accommodate the guests who seemed to not like the sulfur smell that came along with them.

They also have a steak house and lounge for dinner and drinks, a gym and are located right adjacent to the downtown city center. This is a great middle of the road option that will give you good perks without completely obliterating your budget.

Prices midweek run around $139 with weekends getting up to the $315-$359 range.

Adventure #3: Tres Chic Boutique – Hotel Cheval

If you can’t get lucky here…

Ok, I’m about to get real with y’all. Hotel Cheval is no joke.

If you and your lady drive matching Tesla’s then this might be your average lifestyle, but for the rest of us Hotel Cheval may be one of the nicest spots you gonna rest your head every 3 to 5 years.

We love this place. It screams boutique luxury at every turn. Your rooms are dressed with amazing supple bedding that you melt into. At night you can slip into the inner courtyard to one of the many fireplace hearths. And as you curl up under fur blankets, next to the cozy huge fireplaces, someone I can only describe as a “Smores Garcon” rolls up with a wagon of graham crackers and chocolate and asks you what kind of designer smores he can make you.

Like this dude straight up makes you designer smores. I know I just said that the paragraph before, but it bares repeating. This dude has like 6 flavors of MARSHMALLOW just chilling on a Radio Flyer.

Did you think I was kidding?

Garcons don’t come cheap y’all, a weeknight at Hotel Cheval is going to run you around $380-480/night. And weekends run up to $525/night. Not only that, but this is a boutique hotel so the amount of rooms available are limited and sell out on the weekends quick. Plan in advance.

And take us with you… No really. Make us an Indecent Proposal. We’re fun, right?